Dare To Connect By Susan Jeffers
I don’t know what your name is, but I know who you are – and on this principle Susan Jeffers may be said to speak to us all as she writes Dare to Connect. For despite the many surface differences we manifest as human beings, one would hope we all share a common humanity, (even if 99% of a person is bad, there is still the 1% to work with!), and thus Susan greets the light in all of us, and dares to connect.
For although the title of the book is an imperative, an exhortation, it also describes what Susan is doing in writing, for this is a very daring book. Not because it proposes a radical new concept, a controversial technique, or some drastic measures, but through the very fact that she addresses the part of us which is so often hidden, so often buried, so often disguised, so often ignored, and that is our humanity, and the simple spiritual side of our humanity. Before I go any further it should be emphasised that we are not talking religion, but the spirituality of the “Higher Self” the part of us that transcends our petty everyday drives and programming, the part that in some way ennobles us. Jeffers takes a risk because even in self help books there can be a tendency to ignore the spiritual in favour of practical and reliable psychology, and for good reason – modern markets can very easily turn against authors who begin to use words like spirituality in a book where the secular reader is perhaps looking for something more concrete, more immediately useful.
Thankfully, the value of Susan’s work lies in the fact that she does not offer quick fixes, but in plain and easy to follow language she gives us an understanding of how and why our relationships with other people are flawed and fraught with pain and misunderstanding. This applies not only to romantic relationships but also family situations, working life and friendships.
What I like about Susan’s writing is that she comes across with wisdom, respect for the reader, and weaves humour into the very serious business of human relations. Life is about connecting with each other, bearing our souls to each other, supporting each other, learning with each other, but it’s also very much about laughing with each other. And so we find that finding love on this strange planet is not about purchasing the correct deodorant, wearing the right dress size, and moulding ourselves into the correct specifications – it is first and foremost about finding out who we are, being comfortable with who we are, and learning simply to be who we are.
This wouldn’t be a self-help book without some practical tips and there are plenty of these, including advice on how to strike up conversations with strangers and how to connect with others in our lives – but this is mostly a long term journey. You have probably read at least one book that promises to change your life within minutes, but of course are more cautious in the face of such promises when such radical change doesn’t happen. I can’t promise that Dare to Connect will result in perfect relationships (apart from anything else there’s no such thing!) but it will give you the insights and the confidence to start making changes, beginning with yourself (don’t worry this is more about becoming the real you than making changes and compromises for the sake of a relationship!). And from those small changes in ourselves, it is amazing what an impact on the world can follow. Love has a place not just in our homes, but in the workplace, in the street, in faraway places too.
And I applaud Susan for using her book to dare to connect, to spread this word of love, and hope my review serves to help it spread just a little further 